Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
