Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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