There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
