I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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