Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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