My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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