How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
