a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
zippers are such a cool invention
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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