i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
