so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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