Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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