you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
