why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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