whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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