I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
please don't ironically join a cult
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