My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
