I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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