he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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