Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
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