he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
FUCK WHALES
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