physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
