3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
We need to get me chipped asap
Randomize
