I'm drive I can fine osifer
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
