He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
