im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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