Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Randomize
