halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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