try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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