She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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