dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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