i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
this boner is exhausting
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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