So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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