Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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