i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
