we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
