Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.