Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs