Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood