Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
