i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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