NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
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