He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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