Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Randomize
