bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
