He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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