she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
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