she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
