Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
