Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
