Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
