We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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