They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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