Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize