U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize