We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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