ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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