Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
