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I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
