perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
