I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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