So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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