we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
You don't make any sense
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