I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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