oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
