Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize
