Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
