I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
