my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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