Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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