M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
